Reflections on Masking and Burnout - Exploring the toll of masking and the path toward self-acceptance

In my last post, I shared the start of my unmasking journey—the moment when I realized that being “bad at life” was actually something deeper. Today, I want to dive into one of the hardest parts of that journey: masking, and the burnout it can cause.

What Is Masking?

Masking is the act of hiding parts of your true authentic self to fit in with the world around you. It’s a survival strategy many autistic people develop—mimicking social cues, suppressing natural reactions, and constantly monitoring behavior to avoid standing out. This is often even done uncontiously and one may not even know they are "masking"

While masking can help navigate daily life, and bring you safety, it does comes at a steep cost.

The Emotional and Physical Toll of Masking

Burnout isn’t just feeling tired—it’s a profound exhaustion that creeps in after prolonged masking. For me, it meant sensory overload, emotional overwhelm, and a sense of disconnection from myself.

There were times when I couldn’t explain why I felt so drained or why the simplest tasks felt impossible. Looking back, those were signs that masking was slowly wearing me down.

Recognizing Burnout in Yourself

Burnout looks different for everyone, but some common signs include chronic fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, increased support needs, increased sensitivity to stimuli, loss of function, and withdrawal from social situations.

For autistic adults, burnout can also include heightened sensory sensitivities as well as increased anxiety and depression. Recognizing these signs early is crucial—pushing through burnout only deepens the cycle. Trust me, I know this one is hard especially for the late diagnosed. Years of the "just keep swimming" programming that is put on us.

The Complex Relationship Between Masking and Identity

Masking can blur the line between the person you show the world and who you truly are inside. It can be confusing and painful to untangle the mask from the authentic self. If done long enough like me, you may even question that you know yourself.

Unmasking sometimes brings guilt or shame, as if revealing your true self is something to be afraid of or regret. But it’s also a brave step toward self-acceptance.

Steps Toward Healing and Self-Compassion

Healing starts small. It might mean carving out moments where you don’t have to perform, finding safe spaces, or connecting with people who accept you as you are. It probably also means saying "no" to people, creating limits/boundaries and sticking to them, and also unfortunately losing people you may have thought were friends.

Listening to your body and emotions, rather than pushing past discomfort, is key. For many, therapy, coaching, or support communities can be invaluable guides on this path. I know personally I require therapy from this and have my first session scheduled :)

Hope and Encouragement

Unmasking and recovering from burnout isn’t a quick fix—it’s an ongoing process. Celebrate the small victories and give yourself grace when it feels hard.

You deserve to live authentically and gently. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey.

What are your experiences with masking or burnout? I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below.