Small Steps to Self-Acceptance

You don’t arrive. You unfold.

I used to think acceptance meant something final—like crossing a finish line, or unlocking some quiet, steady peace that never leaves.

But for me, acceptance hasn’t looked like arrival. It’s been slow. Uneven. Sometimes invisible. A process of unlearning the shame I didn’t know I was carrying, and letting in a little more light, one flicker at a time. A process that is still ongoing.

It’s remembering that the things I once hid—my sensitivity, my emotional intensity, my spirals of thought—were never the problem. It’s letting those parts breathe, even when they still feel a little too raw to name.

As a late-diagnosed autistic person, giving myself grace has been one of the hardest steps. The ableism I internalized runs deep—quieter and crueler than anything anyone else ever said out loud. I learned to see my needs as flaws, my overload as failure, my difference as defect.

The begining of unlearning that has been painful. But necessary.

Some days, self-acceptance is loud. Other days, it’s a whisper.
Today, it might just be saying, “I’m doing the best I can,” and meaning it.

Here are a few steps I’ve found that help. Maybe not every day. But enough to keep going:

• Pause before apologizing for being yourself.
  You’re not a burden for feeling deeply or needing space. As someone who apologizes way to often, this is easier said then done.
• Give your inner critic a different job.
  It thinks it’s protecting you. What if you asked it to notice progress instead?
• Rest—but remember rest doesn’t always mean stillness.
  Sometimes rest is movement without pressure. For me, it’s gardening, or being in nature—watching wind ripple through trees, or light scatter on water. That’s when my brain exhales.
• Notice the good without waiting for perfect.
  Acceptance doesn’t mean complacency. It means being honest, here and now. It means acknowledging your differences, your limits, and working with them. They do not make you less than, you are uniquely and beautifulty, you.
• Speak gently to yourself in the voice you use for those you love.
  You deserve the same kindness. This one is a big struggle for me as well. I am my worst critic and I can say if I talked to anyone the way I talked to myself, they wouldn't want to be around me. Oddly enough, your negative self talk will end up effecting your confidence and self-worth. It is important to learn to speak to your self with kindness and love, the same way you would treat others.

These are small steps. But that’s how paths are made.

And maybe the biggest shift is this:
I no longer think I need to be someone else to belong.

Because belonging, I’m learning, starts with myself.

If today is hard, that’s okay. You’re still moving forward.
Even now, in your own quiet way.